Crash Course on Housekeeping

My househelp of 4 years left last July 14. So it has been two months since and I am still without one. With four kids, one in a regular school and three home-schooled, it has been a very challenging time for me. But I saw how this seemingly inconvenient arrangement was ordained. Soon after my helper left, I was invited to attend a whole day Housekeeping Seminar for free!!
The speaker succeeded in making me feel excited about the new responsibility that I had to take. How much creativity and practical wisdom are involved in running a household!

Then, as if on cue, I got a text message from a dear relative that she was giving me a whole year subscription to Good Housekeeping as a late birthday gift : ) Despite the disheartening observation of my 6 year old, (" We need to find a new "yaya" (helper), mom. You are crabby without one.") I developed a courage to hurdle this inconvenient time. Having sensed that a "yaya" was not coming as soon as we would all like, my daughter began to pray. "Lord, please make Mom smile when she is in the kitchen and bless us but bless Mom two times more!!"

One special morning, as I struggled between the dishes and home schooling, I decided to teach my children a song. I had not intended to, but having decided to just set housework aside, I opened my mouth not knowing what I was going to sing...and out came, "Make me a servant, humble and meek. Lord, let me lift up those who are weak. and may the prayer of my life always be. Make me a servant, make me a servant, make me a servant today." I had not begun the second line when I felt my tears roll down my cheeks. That song was ministering to me. The Lord was teaching me servanthood and this time I was serving, not the little Sunday Schoolers but rather, my own children.

It has been physically taxing. How my former "yaya" had done it, I really cannot comprehend. I have repented over the reality that I, at times, expected too much of her and appreciated so little. I gained a new attitude towards them who really served with all their strength.

I even met a foreign visitor, a dear friend of my brother who pulled me aside during a family dinner asking me to explain further these "invisible hands", members of the household who cook the food, prepare and clean up but do not join us when we eat. He asked bluntly, "Your family is very religious. How do you reconcile this kind of set up?" I have no idea why it was I he pulled aside but I felt, probably the Lord had a message for me in our conversation.

He and his wife were concerned about the training of the children. They train them to bring their plates to the kitchen and clean up after. So how do we get to train our own kids? I felt it was an affirmation of the training my own children were getting since there were no invisible hands to rely on! The foreign couple expressed concern that the children may have a harder time when they are older.

I shared with him how "having yayas" has been part of our culture. How they serve us and in return we employ them. Having visited Smokey Mountain, this foreign friend agreed that being a "yaya" would seem like a promotion for the poor Filipinos being given an opportunity to live in a better environment and earn as well. He just finds it odd cause in their country, the one who cooks joins them at the table. I confessed to him that my attitude towards house helpers has evolved. From seeing them as strangers to treating them as people with dreams, feelings, hang ups, etc. From seeing them as subservient to my agenda to treating them as people with limitations and with thier own life purposes as well.

I found myself seeking the audience of my parent's 24 year old househelp, cook and butler. I appreciated him for his untiring devotion and apologized for the instances in the past, growing up as a teen-ager and a young adult that I surely may have offended him by my actions or words or taken his role for granted and failed to acknowledge the support he has selflessly given. Indeed, after this no-maid episode, I am not the same person I used to be. And as an appropriate closing to seal this experience, I was invited to speak to about 200 "yayas" and to them I was able to share. It was a golden opportunity to affirm their role as important and vital, and it was not surprising that I did it in a rather convincing way.

I am still hoping I get help soon. In the meantime, I know we will benefit from the inspiration of He who came not to be served but to serve.