Our youngest then was six years old when I found out I was pregnant with our third child. I must confess that I was not prepared for the news. Our eldest was a girl and youngest was a boy. Female and male. In my mind, our family was complete. I thought I was done with nightshifts, diapers and yayas. I was slender and active and the thought of growing big and slowing down was unwelcome. As a home schooling mom, it was rewarding to see our second child reading after years of teaching phonics. With a baby in my womb, it looks like my love affair with phonics was not over. I struggled to accept my circumstance but felt totally rebuked when I shared the news with my children.
I could still see the look of utter delight when they found out that a sibling was in the making. They wanted to broadcast the news to one and all. I confess I wanted them to delay the announcement and that’s when I realized, “Look at you. Even your children know better. They agree with God that children are a blessing!” In the Psalms it says, “Behold children are a gift from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is His reward.” I got convicted. Is this the way to treat a gift? Especially coming from One who knows and loves us best! Is this the way to respond to a reward? My children did know better. They were ecstatic and thankful and just itching to tell the world. As I spent some time praying, I realized that my thoughts were focused on my kingdom and not His – my plans, and not His. I asked God to forgive me for my selfishness, my anxious thoughts and for failing to trust in His bigger plan. I also apologized to the baby in my womb for the initial rejection I expressed.
It has been 10 years since that time and the Lord has, over and over again, shown me that indeed, our second daughter, Kathlyn Laura, is a gift – one to unfold and delight in. Let me share how this gift has been a tremendous blessing.
1 Her childlike insights reveal to us what God is like.
We noticed her compassion for the hurting each time she would watch a show on TV or on video and her tears would fall when a character would encounter disappointment or opposition. Even if the character was a villain! Even at the age of three, she was already very sensitive to the moods of others. Once she asked me, “Why are you sad, Mom?” I was frustrated because I could not locate an important document. Then she sweetly offered, “I will get you happiness, ok?” Another time, I prayed for a 7 year old boy that was paralyzed and her response was, “I like to be Jerome’s friend.” Recently, her younger brother misplaced his wallet in the cinema and was so upset with his loss then she quietly and generously offered him a bigger amount to replace what was lost. Compassionate One.
2 Her responses to God’s truth serve to confirm God’s leading.
Since Kathlyn began to read, one of the first books she read was her Children’s Bible. When she was done with that she asked if she could now read the bible with no pictures. I was hesitant at first but I remembered Jesus words, “Let the little children come to Me.” So I let her. As she read the book of Numbers, I heard her comment, “I don’t like the Israelites anymore. They are so annoying.” I found it amusing and convicting because I was struggling in the area of keeping a cheerful spirit in the midst of multiple inconvenient situations. Her comment tickled me and at the same time pierced me. God was displeased with a grumbling spirit and this was a gentle reminder to see things through His eyes and stay grateful.
3 She taught me once how to respond to God’s discipline.
We believe in loving and disciplining our children. There was one time that I needed to discipline her. After reminding her of the Lord’s example that He too disciplines those He loves, and as we shared a quiet embrace, she whispered, “Thank you, Mom for loving me.” Do I respond the same way when I experience God’s correction in my life?
4 God used her startling temperament to teach us to listen.
When our daughter could not get what she wanted, she would be difficult and very expressive. She was able to clearly express how she felt when she was distressed. “I don’t like my Mama. I want her to go to another house.” Some of her attacks would even rhyme, “I want you to meet a stranger and be in danger!” I recall sharing with my daughter how her strong words hurt my feelings and she quickly replied, “But I want to hurt your feelings!” Now, where is all that coming from? As I researched about words, I realized that these were Kathlyn’s 3 year old way of saying something else. It was a symptom. The idea was to draw out the root cause. As I prayed and read, prayed and researched, I learned about effective ways of acknowledging how a child feels. How active listening and clarifying makes a big difference when your child is sharing with you. I understood that kids are learning how to express themselves and discovered practical ways to engage them in conversation to make a constructive connection. I began to apply what I learned with all four kids and experienced amazing results. I was learning to understand when Kathlyn felt neglected, overlooked or harassed and she found less and less reason to speak negatively. What once was a mess became a message. Soon I was sharing my discoveries to other parents and to larger audiences.
5 God uses her courageous attitude to strengthen us.
One Sunday, I accompanied her to the restroom of a mall. She insisted that I leave her so I can get water to drink. I told her that I could not leave her alone in that place and she replied, “I am not alone. God is with me.” (She is one brave little lady.) But I explained to her that God would not want me to leave her in a place where she should be with an adult. Then she asked, “Why? Is God having a hard time taking care of us?” Such insight! It was also convicting for uncertain me who needs to be reminded that God is able. Gratefully, I was able to respond by reminding her that there are times the Lord assigns people to do His will, even if He does not need any of us.
By the way, she was also the one who convinced me to face my fear and try out zip lining! Her boldness is contagious.
Recalling and sharing her stories, is my way of thanking God for our precious gift. And there are more stories to tell plus more to unfold!! May we all regard our children the way God does and have the pleasure of being blessed, over and over.
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