Finding Fortune in Unfortunate Events

“Let us not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing – but let us encourage one another…” Recently, we experienced an uplifting get-together, when several other couples from our community met for fun, fellowship and food. Our objective was to celebrate with thanksgiving the completion of a project accomplished by prayer and combined efforts of the couples present. It was also an opportunity for us to apply the Sunday message on being thankful.

We asked the group to think of a recent unfortunate event, an unpleasant circumstance or experience that did not turn out the way they wanted.  Then we instructed them to go treasure hunting by reviewing the unfortunate event and searching for things they can still thank God for. We usually give thanks only when good things happen. Are we not instructed to “Give thanks in all circumstances?”  

That evening we had the privilege of enjoying the treasure found by two mothers and a son.

One mother shared how bad news turned into good. A loyal household helper of more than 15 years was devastated when her teen age son, who happened to be a scholar, got an older girl pregnant! Pain of betrayal and broken dreams caused tears to flow from their helper. Her pain was shared by her employers and most specially their teen-age daughters. Their devoted “yaya” was hurting and so were they. This incident became a true-to-life illustration of the dangers of exclusive relationships at a young age, which was just shared to them at church.  “Our pastor was right, mom.”  Their yaya’s sorrow strengthened their resolve to avoid serious relationships at this time to free them from distraction, immorality and unnecessary pain!

To reinforce this principle, another mother shared how a relationship gone sour made her son realize the value of obedience to parents and, God-dependence over independence. As parents, they advised their sons to make a lot of friends in high school and reserve exclusive relationships for later. Their eldest son, however, chose otherwise.  He courted a girl who eventually answered him.  Unfortunately, the relationship went from bad to worse to the boy’s hurt. And also the family’s. Isn’t it when one part of the body is aching, a stubbed toe, a toothache, a migraine… the entire body gets affected?

Though scarred and shaken, her son has learned that choices have consequences, and it is wise to take his parents’ instructions more seriously. Finding an ally in Jesus, her son has found new courage and strength in frequent prayer. For these invaluable lessons, his mom is grateful.

The only male sharer was a son who lost his own mother, who was bed-ridden for the last 30 years, on Mother’s Day.  First and foremost, he was thankful that he had an earlier opportunity to share clearly what Jesus did for her on the cross. Jesus paid her penalty, died that she may live and partake in life everlasting. Her son knew because of his mom’s faith in Jesus, she had passed from death to a new, glorious life. No longer bed-ridden but standing in splendor and free in eternity. Such comfort this truth brings.

Despite the turbulent weather the weekend she died, with all local flights cancelled, he and his wife still managed to have two seats in a bus. Thankfully he was able to join his relatives and experience a meaningful memorial service. There, he heard of how his mom’s uncomplaining attitude amazed and ministered to those who cared for her and visited her. In her weakness, she gave strength to many.  Moreover,   many unexpected and sympathetic friends were deeply moved by the wake service. It was one of the most spiritually uplifting services they attended. Clearly, his precious mom’s death was an instrument to bring Christ’s love and life to many.  What an extraordinary Mother’s Day!

Perhaps like me, you are in the middle of an unpleasant circumstance or a seemingly unfortunate event. Our limited perspective can deceive us from seeing the big picture. Perhaps we need new eyes to see beyond the problem that we may count it all joy.  It is my prayer that as we seek the good in our situation, as we search for hidden treasure and as our hearts and lips give thanks, we will not be disappointed. No testimony without a test. No message without a mess. The Lord promises to grant unexplainable peace and blessing as we chose to trust that He is more than able to work all things out (all includes your perplexing dilemma) for our good in His terms, in His time and for His glory!

Hopeless Scenarios

Does the God of all hope allow us to experience seemingly hopeless situations? Can the abundant life include setbacks and problems? I have heard of countless stories of suffering believers and even personally know some whose journeys with Jesus have been wrought with painful interruptions. My life is no exemption. I distinctly recall specific times in my life when adversity came knocking. They come in different packages, some major and almost traumatic, some annoyingly small. I remember when I was confined in the hospital and my medication was out of stock. Or the time I accompanied a suffering loved one in the ICU. Or the time my water bag broke on the weekend my doctor had a seminar out of town. Ever get a flat tire with two little kids in tow in a remote subdivision? Or the time my husband and I were to speak on Parenting but we had some friction between us. Ha! We still needed to gel our thoughts together. How?   Oh, how I wanted to be part of the audience that day. Frustration levels are high. Inadequacy and insecurity are just around the corner. Despair lurks, taunting, ready to pounce, given the chance.

Setbacks cause initial disorientation. Seeking refuge in Scripture has proven effective in helping me gain back the right orientation. Why? Where else can you find countless examples of believers who experienced adversities far more complex than my list of setbacks? One cannot miss the personal pain and betrayal as Joseph is rejected and sold by his own brothers in the book of Genesis. I encountered terror and injustice when Daniel was thrown into the den of hungry lions. How about physical intimidation as Herod arrests Peter and assigns four squads of 4 soldiers each to hold Peter in prison? 16 to 1! He actually slept beside them! Seemingly hopeless, if one walks by sight and focuses on what is before them, but if one responds in faith, each scenario turns into a crucial moment ripened for God’s intervention.

I marvel at how the injustices Joseph experienced in the hands of his own family, and the false accusations in Egypt were necessary evils that brought him to where Pharaoh could find him. Though Joseph may have been unaware, God was at work even in the darkest hours of his life. In his very words in Genesis 50:20 As for you, you meant to harm me, ¹  but God intended it for a good purpose, so he could preserve the lives of many people, as you can see this day. ²    

Daniel’s divine preservation in the den of lions was a testimony to the awesome might of His Shield and Protector---a testimony that influenced the reigning King Darius to get rid of corrupt officials in government and to establish a new decree that directed all to fear and revere Daniel’s God who endures forever! From horrifying to glorifying!!

Peter’s baffling escape from prison validates the presence of ministering angels sent by God. How God is able to penetrate the strongest of defenses magnifies His omnipotence and authority. Peter’s subsequent reunion with praying believers declares the power of group intercession. What a mighty God we serve!

The bible says that our Lord is the same yesterday, today and forever. If He was able to transform the trials and testing of Joseph, Daniel and Peter back then, He is just as able today.  

When my medicine was out of stock in the hospital and neighboring drugstores, my husband happened to have a patient then who worked in a pharmaceutical company. When he found out about my need, he sent a bag of samples, the exact amount in my prescription plus one. I still keep that extra capsule in a memory box that reminds me of the timely provision that prompted us to praise the Great Provider.

When I cared for a loved one in the ICU, it was emotionally difficult to watch their pain but it was also an opportunity to extend God’s tenderness and comfort. What a privilege to see the patient calm down when songs of praise are sung. What a privilege to be able to say a quiet prayer as the patient is examined and tested and then, rejoice in immediate answers. I discovered his subconscious and anxious thoughts as a side effect of the medicine prompting me to share God’s healing Word and point the patient to Jesus who will give him peace and rest.

When I was rushed to the hospital for our youngest child, I was concerned that my doctor was out of town. What a relief to receive her assuring text that she was able to find a ride back from her seminar and therefore would be able to deliver our baby. When I saw her at the delivery room, I thanked the Lord for providing a ride for her and she shared with much amusement, “I hitched with your pediatrician!”

When I get a flat tire or the car stalls, the first thing I do is pray. Admittedly, I know little about cars. When I am with my kids, we end up praying. Once, I took out the tools needed to change the tire (that much I know) in preparation for the one who would eventually change it. And as we asked in prayer, we were given. Seeing our dilemma, a passerby came to our rescue. Thank God, our Keeper, for helping hands.

                We were to speak on parenting but we had a parenting dilemma. We had nowhere to leave our children that weekend so they ended up joining us in the seminar. Though the hotel room was spacious, it was difficult to concentrate on fine-tuning our message with all four kids roaming about. It was chaotic! Panic set in and we were getting on each other’s nerves. All I could manage was a desperate whisper, “Lord, help!” True to His promise as our immediate help in times of trouble, there was a knock on our door. It was another speaker couple who just learned that their daughter was to arrive that evening from out of town and they wanted to spend time with her. Their hotel room, adjacent to ours, would be available for our children to use. I felt like a stressed balloon that just began to deflate. As soon as they left, I knelt down in shame for panicking, confessed and thanked God for His forgiveness and grace. When I shared the news with my husband, we were led to pray together to our Abba Father, cleaving and weaving, in preparation for our task ahead.

Proverbs says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick…” Are you experiencing major challenges to your health, your relationships, your careers, ministries, even, finances? All these can take its toll on us, but as we turn our weariness to God, His sustaining strength takes over. It is He who transforms us from grumbling and stumbling to walking victoriously, and trusting the second half of the verse in Proverbs that says, “but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.”  God is able to deliver us in His time and in His terms. That is why Paul confidently says, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Faithful Father

When I was about to turn 18, I developed a dull pain in my abdomen and as the tenderness increased, concentrating on the left side, symptoms pointed to appendicitis. I recall how I hardly slept due to the pain and how I was not able to hold anything I ate, so my Dad decided to bring me to the hospital. Though I was distressed, I was relieved to be with Dad. Dad was at his element during emergencies. Time and again, he has demonstrated his love and commitment to my 8 siblings and I, especially, in our time of need.

We arrived at what looked to me more like an infirmary rather than a hospital. It was out of my comfort zone and though I felt ill at ease, I resigned to tolerate my surroundings, besides; my Dad personally assisted me out of the car, into a wheelchair and directed us gently inside.  Either the hospital was under renovation or they just did not have a lift service, I needed to walk up two flights of stairs. Without sleep, nauseous and in pain, that was no longer a simple task. I resisted at first, and I also tried to rely on my own strength, but my Dad firmly held on to me and instructed me to put my weight on him. So I did. I could not have made it to the second floor without Dad’s firm grip and support, climbing with me, one step at a time. Though I was in pain, I was moving—onward and upward. His strength enabled me to do what I thought I could not.

Soon I was comfortably lying in a hospital bed being prepped up for surgery. I was no longer afraid knowing Dad was there, in charge, assuring and inspiring hope. I realized that the surgeon on duty was my Dad’s friend and he was confident that the doctor was more than capable of taking care of my situation. In hindsight, as a parent myself, I would only entrust my child to someone who has gained my confidence and trust.

After the appendectomy, I woke up from surgery with instructions to eat a soft diet and not to laugh to keep the stitches in place. The former was not a problem with my Dad who loves to eat. He was there to welcome me when I woke up from surgery with hot chicken mami noodle soup from our favorite MaMonluk restaurant. But the latter, “not to laugh” was rather tricky. Dad is a fan of Charlie Chaplin, and even when he is not making me laugh, he can make me smile and giggle. That time, he brought our antique movie projector so that I could enjoy old family movies while recovering. How can one watch old family movies and not laugh? This was his loving attempt to bring home away from home and to distract me from the pain. He had not meant to trigger the pain of the stitches but I did not mind at all. I treasured that sunny moment so much more, to even mind the soreness on my side.

My dad filled my emotional tank during that episode in my life such that two weeks after, I celebrated my 18^th birthday with a bang. Instead of the usual cotillion, as I love to sing, we staged a mini-concert. Dad’s love gave me the confidence to shine and make him proud and happy.

Sharing a fun moment with my Dad

            

              That was over 20 years ago and as I relive that memory, I thank Dad for an experience that now points me to an even greater love---that of our Lord’s, our Heavenly Father. He has and continues to hold my hand as I go through painful and uncertain seasons. He calls me to trust and put the full weight of my concerns on Him—casting every care. He promises to be there, in both the highs and lows of life, taking each step with me, whispering words of encouragement and comfort with occasional dashes of humor. Why fear these seasons in my life, when He who is faithful, leads me? Always present, in-charge, assuring and inspiring hope—I am blessed to have an Abba Father.

Each Child A Gift

Our youngest then was six years old when I found out I was pregnant with our third child. I must confess that I was not prepared for the news. Our eldest was a girl and youngest was a boy. Female and male. In my mind, our family was complete. I thought I was done with nightshifts, diapers and yayas. I was slender and active and the thought of growing big and slowing down was unwelcome. As a home schooling mom, it was rewarding to see our second child reading after years of teaching phonics. With a baby in my womb, it looks like my love affair with phonics was not over. I struggled to accept my circumstance but felt totally rebuked when I shared the news with my children.

I could still see the look of utter delight when they found out that a sibling was in the making. They wanted to broadcast the news to one and all. I confess I wanted them to delay the announcement and that’s when I realized, “Look at you. Even your children know better. They agree with God that children are a blessing!” In the Psalms it says, “Behold children are a gift from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is His reward.” I got convicted. Is this the way to treat a gift? Especially coming from One who knows and loves us best! Is this the way to respond to a reward? My children did know better. They were ecstatic and thankful and just itching to tell the world. As I spent some time praying, I realized that my thoughts were focused on my kingdom and not His – my plans, and not His. I asked God to forgive me for my selfishness, my anxious thoughts and for failing to trust in His bigger plan. I also apologized to the baby in my womb for the initial rejection I expressed.

It has been 10 years since that time and the Lord has, over and over again, shown me that indeed, our second daughter, Kathlyn Laura, is a gift – one to unfold and delight in. Let me share how this gift has been a tremendous blessing.

1              Her childlike insights reveal to us what God is like.

We noticed her compassion for the hurting each time she would watch a show on TV or on video and her tears would fall when a character would encounter disappointment or opposition. Even if the character was a villain!  Even at the age of three, she was already very sensitive to the moods of others. Once she asked me, “Why are you sad, Mom?” I was frustrated because I could not locate an important document. Then she sweetly offered, “I will get you happiness, ok?” Another time, I prayed for a 7 year old boy that was paralyzed and her response was, “I like to be Jerome’s friend.”  Recently, her younger brother misplaced his wallet in the cinema and was so upset with his loss then she quietly and generously offered him a bigger amount to replace what was lost. Compassionate One.

2              Her responses to God’s truth serve to confirm God’s leading.

Since Kathlyn began to read, one of the first books she read was her Children’s Bible. When she was done with that she asked if she could now read the bible with no pictures. I was hesitant at first but I remembered Jesus words, “Let the little children come to Me.” So I let her. As she read the book of Numbers, I heard her comment, “I don’t like the Israelites anymore. They are so annoying.” I found it amusing and convicting because I was struggling in the area of keeping a cheerful spirit in the midst of multiple inconvenient situations. Her comment tickled me and at the same time pierced me. God was displeased with a grumbling spirit and this was a gentle reminder to see things through His eyes and stay grateful.

3              She taught me once how to respond to God’s discipline.

We believe in loving and disciplining our children. There was one time that I needed to discipline her. After reminding her of the Lord’s example that He too disciplines those He loves, and as we shared a quiet embrace, she whispered, “Thank you, Mom for loving me.” Do I respond the same way when I experience God’s correction in my life?

4              God used her startling temperament to teach us to listen.

When our daughter could not get what she wanted, she would be difficult and very expressive. She was able to clearly express how she felt when she was distressed. “I don’t like my Mama. I want her to go to another house.” Some of her attacks would even rhyme, “I want you to meet a stranger and be in danger!”  I recall sharing with my daughter how her strong words hurt my feelings and she quickly replied, “But I want to hurt your feelings!” Now, where is all that coming from? As I researched about words, I realized that these were Kathlyn’s 3 year old way of saying something else. It was a symptom. The idea was to draw out the root cause. As I prayed and read, prayed and researched, I learned about effective ways of acknowledging how a child feels. How active listening and clarifying makes a big difference when your child is sharing with you. I understood that kids are learning how to express themselves and discovered practical ways to engage them in conversation to make a constructive connection. I began to apply what I learned with all four kids and experienced amazing results. I was learning to understand when Kathlyn felt neglected, overlooked or harassed and she found less and less reason to speak negatively. What once was a mess became a message. Soon I was sharing my discoveries to other parents and to larger audiences.

5              God uses her courageous attitude to strengthen us.

                One Sunday, I accompanied her to the restroom of a mall. She insisted that I leave her so I can get water to drink. I told her that I could not leave her alone in that place and she replied, “I am not alone. God is with me.” (She is one brave little lady.) But I explained to her that God would not want me to leave her in a place where she should be with an adult. Then she asked, “Why? Is God having a hard time taking care of us?” Such insight! It was also convicting for uncertain me who needs to be reminded that God is able. Gratefully, I was able to respond by reminding her that there are times the Lord assigns people to do His will, even if He does not need any of us.

                By the way, she was also the one who convinced me to face my fear and try out zip lining! Her boldness is contagious.  

             Recalling and sharing her stories, is my way of thanking God for our precious gift. And there are more stories to tell plus more to unfold!! May we all regard our children the way God does and have the pleasure of being blessed, over and over.

Heavenly Hugs

Motherhood has many joys such as magic moments when you make a warm and meaningful connection with your child, but there is a greater joy attached to this role---the countless times God shares a magic moment with me. These times I fondly call, “heavenly hugs”. It is when out of the blue, the ways and nature of God are magnified by my everyday experience as a mom.

One of the first heavenly hugs I received was when I found out I was pregnant for the first time. Because everything was unfamiliar and I could not see what was happening inside of me, and I was firmly instructed to bed rest then, it was easy to get paranoid and entertain one fear after another. Then I remembered the lyrics of a song, “Even the darkness is light to Him, the night is as bright as the day…” Our Maker is able to handle whatever it is that is going on in the darkness of my womb. Lights are unnecessary in a womb factory, for the All-Seeing God can work wonders even in the dark. What my eyes cannot see, He can. What I cannot control, He can. That truth was a reassuring hug that gave me peace.

When our firstborn arrived, I recall that magic moment when I held her in my arms and felt such an overwhelming love for her. Instantly, I felt like a protective shield around her as I carried her close to me. It was a wave of emotion that subsided but was so quickly replaced and threatened by a tsunami of inadequacy! Can I really mother this child when I still feel like a child? Then a heavenly tug came to my rescue, pulling me out from the rising waters of uncertainty. “Take hold of the love you have for your child and multiply it by infinity. Felichi, I love your daughter more than you ever can.” That must have been one of the first group hugs Our Creator, my child and I shared.

In Tagalog, we call it “nangingilala”. The stage when a baby expresses disapproval when put in the hands of someone unfamiliar. From pleasant smiles to restless whimpers that quickly subside when the baby is returned to family. As I observed my daughters quiet ease in the hands of her dad, it mirrored to me the solution to my own restlessness. Another song goes, “Teach us to trust in You with all of our hearts; to lean not on our own understanding…” Stop taking things into my own hands and instead, choose to entrust them in the hands of Him who made me and knows me so well.

How about the everyday joy of simply watching your growing child eat, eat, eat? Similarly, our Father in heaven is pleased when we feed our spirit with the word of God. Just as we want our children to grow healthy, so does God want our Spirit to strengthen-- not only be willing, but able to overcome. That, for me, was an inspiring hug to pursue what pleases God.

 I am ever grateful to the Lord for all these heavenly hugs—times that have assured me of God’s constant, loving Presence in our journey as moms. Let me end with this poignant memory.

I remember the time my 3 year old son got separated from me in the grocery. Oh, how that boy cried, “MAMA!” As soon as I heard his cry, I knew it was my son. I immediately dropped what I was doing, and hastened to find our lost, distressed boy. I wanted to find him, calm him, and hold him, all at the same time. Soon we were reunited and it was such a big relief to us both. As we shared a comforting hug, the joy was doubled as I pictured our Great Shepherd, in all urgency, seeking and pursuing His lost sheep. He hears their cries. He longs to rescue them and will not stop til He brings them home. “As a mother comforts his child, so will I comfort you,” says the Lord. 

No Longer Outside the "Kulambo"

The “kulambo” is a mosquito net that prevents bites while one sleeps. It is a large net that is hung to encompass the entire bed. “Outside the kulambo” is a Taglish (combination of Tagalog and English) expression given to a man who has been banished by his wife from their bed. Usually this is because she is displeased with something he did. There is, however, a similar displacement of the man   when a baby is born into the family. Back when marital beds were not so wide, since newborns had to be breastfed, there would no longer be enough space for daddy. Naturally, he would have to move out of the net to sleep elsewhere. Initially, it may seem like a convenient response but it can get out of hand. There is an alarming tendency for this displacement to influence other areas where the husband or wife used to take priority.

I remember how my husband and I decided to postpone getting pregnant for a year or two so that we can adjust to each other as husband and wife. An older couple advised us to be students of one another first before taking care of another life, and as we look back, we are thankful for the wisdom of that. We gained much from waiting. We learned to adjust to each other’s schedules, had the luxury of travelling light, enjoyed each other without distractions, invested in building friendships with others as a couple, freely discussed issues without interruption and with no audience around. Those first two years reinforced our belief that after our relationship with God, the second most important relationship is with our spouse. We were able to make enough deposits in each other’s emotional bank accounts that will spare us from the full impact of withdrawals when the baby arrives.

True enough, when our firstborn arrived, we were quite overwhelmed by the change that brought. During a vacation, upon arrival at the venue, after the ingress of all our baby’s needs, a friend chuckled, “It’s a wonder how they are born with nothing…”  Suddenly a crib’s beside the master’s bed, a huge playpen takes the place of the center table, a stroller occupies the entire trunk, a bath tub eats up shower space, breastmilk fills up freezer space, and on and on. It is like an invasion. One seems to be left with no choice but to pay attention.

What you focus on, expands. That’s what happened. I got distracted with breastfeeding and attending to our daughter’s needs that my eyes were no longer on the Blesser but on the blessing. Like they say, when our vertical relationship wanes (God and me), our horizontal relationships (Me and others) get affected. And in this case, it impinged on my relationship with my husband. Our weekly dates dwindled, finding greater fulfillment with our firstborn. When we did go out, she was the topic. I would often let the baby sleep in between us when I could very well transfer her to her crib.  I recall how I would personally choose the wardrobe of the child, lay them out in advance and check if the baby bag was complete before an outing. I never offered to do those things for my husband thinking that he could take care of himself! So there were times when Mommy and baby were ready but Daddy was not. All these little choices put together was a potential threat to our relationship. It was eating away at God’s original intention for my husband and me to take priority. It was time to make a change. As I look back, I thank God for giving me a very patient husband. He never complained and simply let God’s Spirit bring me to my senses. God used circumstances around me to point out my distraction.

God used the separation and crises of a couple married for almost 40 years to warn me.  If I continue prioritizing my child, what will our marriage be like in the future? This couple became strangers to one another because they focused on raising their kids, instead of building their relationship. Now their children were all grown and gone. When our own nest is empty, will our hearts still be full? Am I making the deposits I should in our marriage that will make us look forward to growing old together?

God used a seminar called Blueprint of Marriage, to remind me of His priorities. The female speaker asked, “Who do you prioritize when you plan the menu? Your husband or you child?” “How often do you intercede for your husband? For your child?” Rebuked and repentant, I moved from being distracted to being directed. God’s direction for every wife is to put her husband first. And, I confidently include this, for every husband, to put the wife first. No longer “outside the kulambo” but together.

So what are practical ways by which we can live out God’s design for marriage?

Be alert. Take note of both major and minor requests made. When my husband asks me to attend to something, from planning an event to mending a shirt, I note it down and include it among my top “to do’s” for the day. The usual tendency is for me to tackle the urgent things, and postpone the once that matter to my spouse but at the end of the day, I feel lacking. However, when I give him priority, strangely, I feel accomplished, like I did what I was made to do.

Identify your spouse’s love language. Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, “Love Languages” identifies five ways a person experiences love. Some feel loved when they are served, some, when they receive gifts. Some appreciate being verbally affirmed, others, tenderly touched and others, when given quality time. I recall how my husband and I had a love language conflict during our early years because I was giving him gifts and affirming him when he was actually needy of my pampering and service. He, on the other hand, was serving me, when I was expecting him to bring me shopping!! We discovered through the years that love languages evolve and being aware of our spouse’s language, enables us to care more effectively.

A date a week. Make plans to spend time together, just you and your spouse. Agree not to discuss domestic concerns and just have a restful time having fun and enjoying each other. It helps to list down things you like doing together (and things you like doing apart or solo) so you can plan better. Or plan to ask each other discovery questions like: What do you enjoy most about your life right now? If you were invisible for a day, what would you do? What are three things you would like to do before your next birthday?


No serious discussions after nine. A writer once said that when you get married, you permanently complicate your life. Funny, but true. With so many complications, it will help if you get enough rest and enough sleep. Avoiding serious discussions after 9pm help us get better rest at night. There are exceptions at times, but this general rule has definitely helped us postpone some discussions and protect us from late night conflicts.


Attending Couple Seminars. Like the car, our relationship needs a tune up every now and then for better mileage. We decided to get involved in the couple’s community in our church. We have had the privilege to attend and to serve in yearly couple’s seminars that allow us to review God’s design for marriage. We also enjoy learning from other couples. If you can’t do this regularly, it would be good to have other couple friends, fellow travelers to encourage each other in the right way.

These are just some of the many ideas on how to nourish your marriage. And the key is to keep at it. I am still a work in progress and so is my husband. And we recognize that marriage needs nurturing. As they say, no pain, no gain. Staying married is definitely a greater challenge than getting married but with God’s guidance and enabling, we can look forward to a lasting marriage “ inside the kulambo”.

Start Praying as A Family

Before the year 2010 ended, my DIY (Do-It-Yourself) husband scheduled the repainting of our walls and ceiling. We all agreed that a fresh coat of paint would brighten up the place and that the Christmas break would be a good time to get it done. If we wait til summer, it would be too hot and uncomfortable. He solicited the help of my two able teen-agers.

The day came, furniture was moved about, newspapers lined the floors and paint cans and rollers were ready for use. My hubby identified the areas to work on, gave clear instructions and divided responsibilities. The teens and my hubby would do the painting. The younger kids and I took charge of workers’ care (feeding, providing cool drinks, and finding things) and doubled as assistants when they needed to reach for supplies. A cousin came to visit and ended up helping out.  Observing our family work as a team, each diligently doing their task while exchanging laughs and stories, was precious. Though the house was a mess, to me, it was a marvelous mess. We just made a memory.

We were amazed at the progress of the work. The house was getting brighter as the day went on. We were feeling lighter and pleased with the improvement. I was in wonder at how teamwork does work. Unified efforts can certainly bring results. Remember when the people of one language set to build the Tower of Babel?  Before God intervened, He described them in this way, “…they have begun to do this, nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.” (Genesis 11:6) Even God recognizes that in unity there is unimaginable strength.  Indeed, “Together we’re better.”

In less than 2 days, the amateur painters got rid of the eye sores and soon, we were enjoying delighting in new walls and ceilings. Now that was fast.

As I pondered on the experience, a thought came to me. Our senior pastor at church always reminds us that when we work, we work, but when we pray, God works. Then, it dawned upon me. If working together can produce sweet and satisfying results, what more if we pray together as a family? Combined efforts get a task done but what about combined prayers? The Lord does promise in Matthew 18:20 that when two or three are gathered in His name, He is present-- the Source of all wisdom, power, provision and peace ready to work on our behalf.

 When we acknowledge Jesus and trust Him as Lord and Savior, we are privileged to have direct access to God through Christ (who happens to be seated at the right hand of the Father and is clearly just a whisper away). We are called to confidently enter His throne of grace!!  As a family, we realized that we can avail of this privilege so much more. There is a tendency to simply settle for grace before meals when praying as a family and even at times, with memorized prayers that are often mumbled than heartfelt. Why settle for that when our combined and earnest prayers can move the hand that is able to supply beyond what we ask or think?

This year we resolved to maximize this privilege. Not only when it comes to requests that concern our family, but others as well. We can adopt a family or a ministry to pray per week or per month. We can intercede for our needy country as well. Last month, our home church, in obedience to the command in 1 Timothy 2: 1 to cover in prayer those in authority over us, congregated at a convention center to pray for President Benigno Simeon Aquino. He accepted the invitation to a special worship service dedicated to consecrating our country’s leaders.  We were introduced to the K4 Philippines Intercessor’s Movement (Kalusugan, Karunungan, Kaligtasan at Katuwiran) calling all Filipinos to pray for health, wisdom, protection and righteousness for their leaders four times a day : the president and his cabinet , as you wake up, the governor before breakfast, the mayor before lunch and barangay chairman of their district before dinner. I had to find out the names of our governor and chairman! What a shame!

Our Lord was present when we interceded as a congregation, and so is He as we pray together as a family. In humility and with excitement, we resolve to enlarge our prayers as a family and anticipate greater things to come. If we humble ourselves, seek His face, and unite in prayer as a family, and as a people, we can count on His promise to heal our homes and our land.  That is without a doubt  so much more than a home makeover. So what are we waiting for?